Eloise's Birth Story - My Second Child's Home Water Birth

The Durban Doula's very own birth story!
The almost unassisted home water-birth of our second daughter.

(Lots of pics at the end!)

After a week of erratic prodromal labour, I woke up just after midnight on a Friday evening. This was nothing unusual. For the last month or so I had been waking sometime in the middle of the night, wide awake that is, only to fall sleep about 2 hours later.

The contractions were also not unusual; I had been having prodromal labour consisting of rather painful, somewhat regular contractions on and off for a week. This time the contractions carried on for another 12 hours which was admittedly a bit unusual, but after the week I'd had, I wasn't getting my hopes up! So I tried sleeping between surges, and managed to get a couple more hours in.

We took a leisurely stroll...

We took a leisurely stroll to the Farmer's Market nearby at about 8am, and oddly the contractions actually calmed down quite substantially while I was walking. Side note: The fact that I could get them to go away by moving apparently indicates 'false' labour. Whatever!

I was over it!

I didn't keep track, because I had been timing contractions all week and I was over it! But they were pretty irregular, some 3 minutes apart, some 15 minutes apart - no pattern I could discern.

'Another false alarm,' I thought.

We got back and Hans looked after the toddler while I tried to nap between contractions, thinking they would go away like they had been doing the whole week. They did. At about lunchtime they stopped. 'Another false alarm,' I thought.

I didn't want to try and get things moving before my body was ready...

The previous week I experienced various odd sensations, from mild backache to serious contractions. I rested as much as I could rather than trying to get things moving before my body was ready as that might only exhaust me, without having made any ‘progress’.

...at 6:45pm I had 2 very strong contractions quite close together...

Warm baths had helped me to relax so at about 6:30pm that evening I went to bathe and at 6:45pm, after about 6 hours of no contractions at all - nil, niks, nada - I had 2 very strong contractions in the bath, quite close together, probably the strongest I'd had. The next one followed just as I got out and I could feel my legs trembling. In my previous labour, that had been a sign that I was already in transition.

My mom wanted a time estimate; I think I said, 'Soon!'

I yelled for Hans, things were finally happening, and happening fast. We phoned Arlen our midwife first, and then my folks, who had just arrived at a formal dinner 45 minutes away. My mom wanted a time estimate; I think I said, 'Soon!' We called Hans's folks to come and help with the toddler just as they were finishing their dinner at a restaurant - impeccable timing this baby has! We also texted those who wanted to know, and those whom I had invited to join us for the occasion.

Most of everything had already been set up since Monday...

With all systems go, Hans did some last minute prep clearing my sewing gear out the lounge with cranky toddler in tow while I went upstairs and put on 'Classical Music for Meditation' CD while I breathed and huffed and snorted through contractions. Most of everything had been set up since Monday, so it was only some last minute clearing to do.

That time alone to gather my wits and breathe and focus was precious.

I was most comfortable on my hands and knees, or bent forward with my hands on the bed and my knees slightly bent - as comfortable as you can get in transition that is. That time alone to gather my wits and breathe and focus was precious. Between contractions I sat cross legged on the bed and relaxed as best I could but as I felt each new wave coming, there was absolutely no way I could stay still! I tried, and felt I was going to crawl out of my skin!

...instead of fighting each contraction and tensing against it, I surrendered to it...

On my hands and knees, rocking forwards and backwards, and side to side, I felt power surging through my body with each contraction and instead of fighting it and tensing against it, I surrendered to it, understanding that this was all working to get my baby out. At the end of each one, I experienced a warm glow through my entire body – like that feeling when you stand under a hot shower or lower yourself into a warm bath – an afterglow of sorts.

While I was upstairs, the midwife, hubby's folks and two of my friends who had been constant companions throughout all our ups and downs that week arrived. I don't remember the order!

...thank the Lord for laminate flooring!

Arlen the midwife checked my blood pressure and baby's heartbeat between surges which were coming thick and fast by that stage. Hubby's mom took over with the toddler who promptly threw up on the floor in our bedroom. I'm not sure if it was all the excitement or overdosing on milkshake earlier that day, or a combination of the two, but thank the Lord for laminate flooring! We had all the supplies for mopping up on hand in any case, so no stress there. What it did mean though, was that the in-laws waited downstairs for a while, loathe to put the potential vomiter in their car, and so they fortunately ended up sticking around until the baby was born. But I'm getting ahead of things now.

I do think the kettle was enlisted at some stage...

We hadn't checked for pipe-tap compatibility concerning the birth pool, but hubby made a plan and our two friends, Janine and Kate, worked on getting the pool filled. To be honest, I didn't think we were going to make it, and I don't think the midwife did either! Even though our hot water pressure is dismal, the geyser is set quite hot so it doesn't take much to warm things up. I do think the kettle was enlisted at some stage, but I wasn't noticing much of that.

I swear the smell of his hair was better than any drug!

Once the pool was well on its way to being filled, Hans joined me and things turned a corner. I could let go, and I swear the smell of his hair was better than any drug! One or two contractions later I felt the fronts of my thighs burning and aching - somehow in that moment I remembered reading that this was a sign of full dilation. Transition had been much longer with my first, and to be honest, when I first started getting those intense contractions in the bath, I was fully expecting a few more hours! Relief!

People often think that pushing is the most intense stage, but for me transition was the hardest with the pushing stage like a downhill run by comparison. I found pushing much more satisfying than transition as it finally felt like I was getting somewhere!

...I could feel the baby's head...

I was most comfortable in a wide kneeling position on a little mattress we had next to the bed, leaning forward on Hans sitting on the bed. My waters broke, and I felt baby moving down. What an incredible feeling! I did an internal check myself (the only internal check for this birth) and I could feel her head! I loved being the first person to touch my baby. As contractions happened, I worked with them and waited and rested quietly between.

Far away in labour land in the birth pool!

The midwife knew I wanted to catch the baby myself, and so right then she mentioned to me that I might struggle in the position I was in, and that the pool was ready. I was already in 'the zone' and not keen to do anything other than stay put, but fortunately I listened!

So I got into the water...

So I got into the water and it was heavenly. I wasn't resting on my sacrum, but rather supporting myself on my knees or in a squat as I felt comfortable. Soon after I got into the water the midwife checked the heartbeat and all seemed fine.

...I grunted, groaned and growled that baby out!

I thought I made a lot of strange noises, although my in-laws said they barely heard a thing from downstairs! Some women breathe their babies out, and I was kind of hoping I might do the same, but when it came to it I grunted, groaned and growled that baby out! Making a noise helped keep my jaw soft while working with the contractions. Soft up top means soft at the bottom! Again I checked for baby's head, and it was right there, just out of sight.

My folks arrived while I was in the water and my mom rushed upstairs. With a fuel stop along the way, they had apparently engaged in some low flying to get there. Even then, they made it only about 5 or 10 minutes before she was born!

With each surge, Hans supported me in the water. I could hear encouraging murmurs from around me, but it was his voice that pierced through everything and his words that wrapped around me and kept me going. I was truly an intimate experience for us. I wouldn't change that for anything!

...like pulling a door with one hand and pushing with the other...

I realized I had been working too hard with the contractions, like pulling a door with one hand and pushing with the other. I consciously ‘let go’ and felt her head start crowning on the next contraction! One more contraction after that and her head was out.

'Is there anything I'm supposed to do now?'

 'Is there anything I'm supposed to do now?' I asked. "No, just wait." So we waited patiently for the next surge. We were still in the water all this time, which is safe as the baby hadn't yet started to breathe, with her body being so compressed in the birth canal, and wouldn't try to take a breath until she felt the cold, which she would only feel when I took her out the water.

Also, the baby would only try to breathe if she was in distress, which we knew she wasn't. Tickling her head and waiting for the surge that would push the rest of her body out was another moment I will never forget!

Her body rotated and emerged with relative ease and I lifted her up out of the water myself at 8:24pm, just under 2 hours after those first contractions in the bath. What a flood of emotions and sensations! The pictures say it all...

Straight into mom's arms...

That first sqauwk!

We did it!

The midwife dabbed her face with a cloth and she let out a squawk but was otherwise very calm. She was covered in vernix, millimeters thick in some places, probably because she was 2 weeks early. I held her close and kept her body under the water to stay warm and we rested like that for a while. I don't remember the exact sequence of events, but I do remember confirming that she was a girl, and we announced her name - Eloise: Famous Warrior!

The toddler Amelia came up to say hello and her first remark was, 'Lotsa tweam!' (Lots of cream!) She was utterly fascinated! In retrospect I would have liked her there a little earlier so she could see the baby coming out, but I just didn't think of it. She had watched birth videos with me before and was completely enthralled! Maybe next time...

Lotsa tweam!

After some quick hello's, we were left alone with our little one, resting in the pool. When she looked ready to feed I let her do her thing and she latched like a pro first time! We had been in the water about half an hour, enough time for the cord to stop pulsing, when Hans cut the cord and I got out as I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

A comfy sling scale...
much nicer than cold metal or plastic!
See how beautifully pink she is!

We delivered the placenta, and later the midwife weighed and measured her and checked her hips and her reflexes. I dressed myself and our newest little human, Eloise, and we drank tea downstairs with the grandparents in the wee hours of the morning. There is nothing quite like that first cup of tea after baby is born!

...all so intensely sacred but so terrifically normal!

So that was that! No internal checks other than my own, no needles for me or for baby, no suctioning, no chemicals, no plastic box and no loud noises other than squeals of delight! - all so intensely sacred but so terrifically normal!

In retrospect, recovery has been so much easier this time! I had a drug-free birth with my first, and I know that the second one is usually easier, but this was way better! Another big difference is that my first labour was 12 hours start to finish – not this on-again-off-again for a whole week business! But, of course, I’d do it again in a heartbeat!

So, in summary, our home water-birth included a week of prodromal labour, or pre-labour, or early labour - whatever you want to call it - then a solid 12 hours of totally irregular contractions - then nothing for 6 hours - then straight into transition and baby born less than 2 hours later!

I think if I hadn't been with a midwife I would have had induction recommended at least three times that week, and would probably have ended up with a c-section because my body wasn't ready yet. I would have been diagnosed with 'failure to progress' when the problem was simply a case of 'failure to wait'.

Fortunately, we waited, and the experience far surpassed my expectations! I tell people I had an unassisted birth with the midwife in the room because that's how it felt. Honestly it was one of the highlights of my life and that experience played a huge part in my wanting to be a doula.

For the record, Eloise is now already almost 7 years old, but I felt this incredible story deserved sharing! She is a delight to everyone she meets and she loves it when I tell her the story of how she was born.

Find more birth stories here.

Isaac's Birth Story - Our quick, intense, didn't-make-it-into-the-water home birth...

Announcement by Sarah-Jane Photography

Isaac Johan's Birth Story

Another great home birth with our fantastic midwife!

The last you heard from me was my pregnancy diary at 38 weeks. Since then I finished off my last few work tasks and enjoyed some fun time with the girls while they were on school holiday. We went on a picnic one morning, and to the beach another day. It was great to have a few days where my time was (mostly) my own! 

(And if you're confused because you thought his name was Johan Isaac, and now my blog says Isaac Johan, your memory is correct! That was our original order, but over the last week, we have just felt that Isaac 'sticks' better – we, parents and grandparents, just seem to be gravitating towards using Isaac as a first name, Zack for short, so we made the change.)

Source

We were kind of hoping that baby would come before Easter weekend. And considering that it was my 38th week, and baby #2 arrived at 38 weeks on the dot, it wasn't too much wishful thinking. Easter weekend just seemed an awkward time for everyone. My folks run Fever Tree Guest House in Hluhluwe, just over 3 hours' drive away, and my friend Shelley, who agreed to be my doula was going to Underberg to spend the weekend with family from Joburg. We had known there would be a clash of dates from the beginning, and all just had to be okay with the idea that things might not work out how we want them to and get on with it. 

Source

I wasn't going to stress myself out – while washing dishes on Friday morning I felt God acknowledging that I spend so much of my life accommodating the needs of others, this time I just needed to let things be for me – whether things happened soon or not, I didn't need to stress. I felt free!

A friend had the girls over the play on Friday morning so Hans and I, despite all good intentions to clean the fridge and sort the pantry, went and had brunch, just the two of us. I even got my 'push prezzie' in advance – little did we know!

After my little revelation over the dishes, I shared some other thoughts about the birth with Hans – I didn't want to be bugged with 'How far are you?' and 'How much longer do you think it will be?' questions while in labour. Asking questions of a lady in labour aren't helpful for that ideal 'labour-land' brain state so typical of true physiological birth as they activate the language centres of the brain, the 'higher' brain. 

Questions about time also add in the whole idea of pressure and performance which can also distract from the task at hand – so I gave Hans the firm instruction to field those questions and comments for me, because we did have the reality of people travelling from up to three hours away to join us. In retrospect it was odd that I felt so adamant about these things right at that moment – but maybe I knew something was going down. Pardon the pun.

I honestly hadn't had any prelabour symptoms this time – no loose stools, no 'show', no major burst of energy – and I was kind of grateful about that. With my second birth I had a rather exhausting bout with prodromal labour that I wasn't keen to repeat. I think that being diligent about getting enough magnesium in really helped prevent that!

So that afternoon I coloured in another of my birth affirmation pages – and just went on with life as usual.

Some more colouring!

At around 8pm, lying in bed watching Netflix, I had what felt like a slightly uncomfortable Braxton-Hicks (BH) contraction. Now I'm a veteran on downright painful BH contractions – I know they aren't supposed to be painful, but mine sometimes are – so I didn't stress too much. Halfway through the program I was watching, I realised I'd had three of them at seemingly regular intervals, so I half noticed the time and true as nuts, ten minutes later I had another, and then another ten minutes after that. I told hubby on Skype - 'OK!' he replied and came through to help get things ready in case.

I let the midwife know, because we both know my history, and I told her I was going to get in the bath to try calm things down so I could get some sleep – because that was what I did for a whole week before my second little one was born. I also let my birth team know – just so that if it was for real they would have some warning.

By the time my bath was over, surges were 5 minutes apart, and definitely not BH anymore!

So we gave the go-ahead for those coming from far away – Hluhluwe, Underberg and Pietermaritzburg… Our midwife Arlen was the first to arrive, then my hubby's folks. Fortunately the girls were asleep by that stage and I was directing last minute details between surges – checking we had a bucket for laundry, making sure the birth pool was ready, putting birth supplies out so they could be found easily, getting some labor-aide mixed and ready – and a myriad of other minor tasks that needed doing. It was a warm evening so I was pacing and doing my thing in my undies while all the action happened around me.

Molly keeping an eye on proceedings once baby was born...

Arlen took my blood pressure when she arrived, and checked baby's heartbeat – all good. We had agreed, as with my previous births, that we wouldn't do internal checks unless necessary, so it wasn't even suggested. Internal checks can only tell you how dilated your cervix is at that moment, it gives no indication of how long it took to get there, or how long it will take to reach full dilation. I've had clients go from 6cm to baby in 45minutes, or 3-10cm in an hour, so really – to have to lie down so someone can examine your cervix via your vagina, to get information that may or may not be helpful, just felt unnecessary to me. But that's just me!

I was in labour and that was all I needed to know! Each surge was slightly more intense than the last and I absolutely had to keep moving through them – they were getting longer, stronger and closer together, so we knew things were progressing. At this stage I was doing lots of figure 8's with my hips – that felt amazing!

I honestly felt a bit like cat in labour - I was pulling all sorts of crazy stretches. Later on Arlen said she had never seen anyone in labor do stretches quite like that. If you know anything about dancing – think very slow, gentle 'bouncing' in a wide second position, knees out, body forward, back arched, left elbow on knee, right hand pushing right knee out, then lunging side to side in that position as needed. 

Actually I nearly did do that once -
this was me in labour in hospital with #1.
I'm smiling because even then
I thought all those wires were ridiculous...

If I had been birthing in a place where you are expected to stay in or on the bed, I think I might have begged for drugs of some kind. Not that there would have been time. I honestly can't imagine how women do the labour thing without being able to move about. Actually I can, because I did it with #1 - but never again!

During this time hubby and mom-in-law were filling the birth pool. If it was a 'normal' home birth, the timing was perfect for getting in to the pool, just as the surges felt like they were starting to become overwhelming, the warm water of the pool would do its endorphin thing and I would be set to go for the last stretch… but my body seemed to have other plans.

I was getting down onto the floor with each surge. The cold tiles were just what I needed as the room was quite warm. What seems crazy is that I distinctly remember checking the time to find out if he would be born on the 25th or the 26th. When I checked my phone it was 12:04am

On what must have been the next surge after checking the time, I got down on the floor again only to feel an intense downward pressure which continued with each surge following – not an urge to push, but rather a sense that my body was pushing something anyway.  Actually, it felt more like gravity had concentrated itself tenfold in the area of my pelvis, as if that part of me was being pulled down with a G-force I could do nothing to resist.  I was doing low cleansing breaths with each surge – making 'hah, hah, hah' sounds – it just seemed the right thing to do. It was distinctly uncomfortable and then pop! - my waters broke. Oddly, it felt so good!

At this stage I wasn't getting up between surges, just lying with my face down on my arms and my butt in the air because that seemed to relieve the intensity for a few seconds. Graceful mental image I know, but it felt great! At some stage we put a bright pink towel under my knees. The pool was ready, and had been ready for a short while, but there was just no way I was moving anywhere. I remember reaching a similar point in my previous labour, and having the mobility and awareness to get in the pool, and I was so glad I did, but this time seemed considerably quicker and much more intense – like a condensed version of the previous labour. So I stayed put.

My Friday afternoon colouring.

I started to feel that unique sensation of a baby navigating his way down the birth canal. I can't imagine choosing to miss this part of labour as it seems to be the moment where you and baby are both working towards the same goal as he wriggles along with the rhythmic massage of those powerful uterine surges. I remember instinctively reaching down to be there to meet him, and saying, 'Baby's coming!'

As I remember it, I would be on my hands and knees and allow the pressure and stretching, but as soon as it felt too much, I would duck my head down and put my bum up to relieve the pressure a little. I think I did that through the pushing stage (in which I didn't actually do any pushing) until his head emerged. Every now and then I felt his little head moving this way and that as we worked together to bring him through. Other than that, it was just me and my hands guiding the process – so empowering! By this stage Arlen and Hans had set up some towels and linen savers behind me on the floor, Hans on his knees, waiting to catch his son. 

Once his head was out we waited for another surge, while I felt his shoulders turn in preparation for the emergence of the rest of his body. That was somewhat more uncomfortable than his head actually as I remember saying, 'Don't pull!' No one was pulling – it was his shoulders moving through. So with a sound of rushing water and great sense of relief, our little boy made his way into the world. 12:16am, 12 minutes after I last checked the time. He took a few moments to gather himself together as we welcomed him with enfolding arms and encouraging words. I sat back as they passed him to me and wrapped us both in towels. He gave a little roar of indignation to announce his acceptance of our welcome.

Within a few moments, I felt strong enough to get into the water and Hans joined me. It was lovely to sink into the warmth and weightlessness of the pool. We could get a good look at our newest family member without worrying about getting him getting cold, and my somewhat fatigued body could get a little rest too!

Our eldest passed out on the bed after saying hello.

Things get a little blurred after that, you would think it would be the other way around! I remember relaxing in the water together for a while, with an extra contraction or two every now and then to get the placenta moving, and I remember him rooting about looking for my breast, and latching quite strongly and decisively when he found it! Peaceful and unhurried – just beautiful. 

I remember Hans getting out the water at some stage – our girls were brought through, in a sleepy stupor, to come say hello, after which they promptly passed out on our bed. My mom-in-law came through, the photographer arrived, as did my parents and my doula – though I don't remember the order. I was grateful for the water then as it forced us to stay put and kept things warm and private. There was a great atmosphere of celebration throughout!

After over an hour in the water I was ready to get out – so the cord, now limp and white, was clamped and cut and littlest was placed in his father's arms. We delivered and checked the placenta, got me cleaned up and dressed. Arlen took all the vitals and did all the newborn checks - I was quite chuffed that after needing a few stitches with my firstborn and her 33cm head, I managed this 36cm head with nary a graze! Go me! He weighed 3.56kg - my biggest baby by nearly 300g, and was 56cm long, so also my tallest baby.

We had everyone come in for a little name announcement, beause as you know we had kept our final choice a secret until he was born. Once all that was done, I got him back on my chest, skin-to-skin, covered with a few extra blankets, where he stayed drinking for the next while, and we all went through to the lounge to have tea at nearly 2am in the morning! It was lovely!

Morning meetings...
The girls have a good cuddle with
their baby brother for the first time.
You can see the pool in the background.

The girls slept on mattresses in our room as their rooms were occupied for the night. I watched as the eldest woke up and I got to see the realisation on her face as she remembered her baby brother had been born. They just couldn't get enough cuddling and snuggling in and it seems they still can't! They argue over who gets to hold the baby next, and are already stars at collecting all the bits necessary for baths and nappy changes and the like.

I've got some other thoughts to share on the whole postpartum experience - but I'll leave that for another post.

Thanks for reading...
Please add any thoughts, questions or queries below!