I was reluctant to share my birth story as I had such high hopes for it. I was determined I was going to do it a certain way. I was going to stay at home until the last minute, walk around through contractions, not complain, try all different kinds of positions and be quiet and happy through it. Here's what actually happened...
After 2 weeks of prodromal labour I got pretty tired of the 'fake' ones and didn't actually believe my baby was ever going to come. I felt like I was going to be teased again and again and that was how I'd live out my days. So it was Wednesday at 2:00pm and I had yet another Braxton-Hicks contraction which was a little more sore than usual. Something in my head told me it was different but after the previous two weeks I was determined not to believe it was different until I saw a baby's head showing.
They came 10 - 20 minutes apart until 6:00pm then I had nothing for more than 30 minutes. I was glad I hadn't told anyone as it was clearly another fake labour experience.
Then they came back even stronger and I was walking and breathing well through them, telling my husband how pleased I was that I was doing so well. Little did I realise things were about to change quite dramatically.
...I wasn't sure how to tell if it was the real thing.I felt pain only in my back and assumed it was this back labour I'd heard about but was convinced I'd never get because my baby would behave and face the right way. It was at 7:10pm that I called my doctor to tell him I was getting one contraction roughly every 10 minutes and I was possibly going into labour but I wasn't sure how to tell if it was the real thing.
He told me I should stay at home until I was having 3 every 10 minutes and each lasted 40 seconds. He said this would possibly take until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning so I decided to pack my bag (nesting wasn't for me!) and I straightened my hair so I would look somewhat presentable for pictures.
Well only 30 minutes later they were lasting for more than 50 seconds and were about 90 seconds apart. My husband called the doctor as I grabbed the last bits and went out to the car. I was surprised that I only had 2 contractions during the 20 minute journey to the hospital.
...a nurse was reluctant to believe I was genuinely in labour.I arrived there and a friend who wanted to be with me turned up at the same time. I was wheeled (against my will!!) to the maternity unit and told to strip off to nothing and just wear a gown. They asked if my waters had broken or if I'd had the 'show' and I'd had neither so a nurse was reluctant to believe I was genuinely in labour.
...I was only 1cm dilated.When checking my cervix they told me I was only 1cm dilated. I was rather put out as I thought the last few hours had warranted at least 3 or 4cm! But at the same time I was also surprised I was dilating at all as I still found it hard to believe there was a real baby inside me! It was then I had the bloody show. I couldn't quite believe how much blood there was!
I was thoroughly disappointed in myself...My doctor was called and he also checked me for some reason. I was thoroughly disappointed in myself as I was in so much pain I was asking for drugs to help, but I refused an epidural as I wasn't going to risk having a caesarean and I told them how I was completely paralysed when I'd been given Pethidine for a migraine in the past. They said they could give me something else but I'd have to wait until I was at least 4cm dilated. They estimated it would be 4 hours and they'd come back and check me at that time.
I then wished I'd practiced the positions!Well, 50 minutes later I was 6cm dilated and they said it was too late, I couldn't have anything. I was quite upset as I just didn't feel I could handle the pain any longer. I tried walking but found it impossible during a contraction. I tried squatting next to the bed but it actually didn't change how much it hurt even a tiny bit. (I then wished I'd practiced the positions!) I found lying propped up and on my side helped a tiny amount so I stayed on the bed in that position, something I swore to myself beforehand I would NOT do!
I told them I didn't care to do that...Most of what happened at this time was a blur and 1.5hrs later I was told it was time to start pushing. The doctor and nurse gowned up, I had the sheets removed from my legs and was told my knees must be up and back towards me. I told them I didn't care to do that and I would push in the most comfortable position, but I was firmly told I HAD to have them up like that and they put them there for me and held them in position.
It was sore but manageable.
I was given instructions on how to breathe - slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth and to keep my chin to my chest through contractions. I tried as hard as I could to get it right but it was strangely very difficult and I had to be reminded of what to do with each contraction. I realised at the end of it all that I had only one contraction I felt at the front. It was sore but manageable. I was totally unprepared for that!
The doctor had a feel to see what was going on...The doctor had a feel to see what was going on with the baby and said that it was moulding and they needed to push his skull back. I didn't know what moulding meant and no-one thought to tell me. I was also informed that he hadn't descended enough so they were going to help guide him down. (I'm sure if I was allowed to stand/squat that would have sorted it out...)
I really wanted to see what it would look like with them intact...So in went the hands, again, and along came the contractions. I felt some pain and in my confused state told the doctor he'd better stop touching me or I wouldn't push. Haha! I later found out I was actually tearing - a 5cm tear which required stitches. Up to that stage my waters still hadn't broken, and I said I didn't want to have the membranes ruptured. I really wanted to see what it would look like with them intact, but that wasn't allowed.
I was so excited that he had a head of black hair!I pushed maybe 5 times in total and just before the last time I was told he had black hair. That was the only time I was really aware of what was being said and didn't have to have it repeated. I was so excited that he had a head of black hair! I made the final push and out his head came. The doctor then guided his body out the rest of the way.
I just remember thinking, 'I don't care, I'm in pain. Ouch!'I have always heard that the pain stops immediately when the baby is out due to the excitement of it all. This was not true! Everyone was talking about him and I just remember thinking, 'I don't care, I'm in pain. Ouch!' A moment later I lifted myself up and saw the cord was about to be cut. I said I didn't want it cut until it had stopped pulsing but was told by someone, I don't remember who, to be quiet as it was all ok. Then it was cut and clamped. Hmph!
I had always thought it would come out naturally after about 20 minutes...My baby was handed to me and, without anyone even asking, he was placed on my breast and hands were there helping him to drink. Then, without warning, I was given an injection to help the placenta come out. The doctor pushed hard down on my abdomen and pulled on the cord until it was out. Owww! I had always thought it would come out naturally after about 20 minutes but, again, this was not my experience. One minute after birth the placenta came out and was whisked away.
I remember thinking the feeling of his tiny naked body on my chest was absolute bliss.I remember looking at my son and even though I didn't feel an immediate bond I didn't feel entirely disconnected either. He had big, puffy eyes and squawked for a minute or two until he starting sucking. I remember thinking the feeling of his tiny naked body on my chest was absolute bliss. I was then in Heaven! Here was my little miracle - real, alive and completely defenceless - entirely dependent on me for sustenance. His Apgar scores were both 10 out of 10 - clever boy!
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Moments after birth sticking his tongue out at us!
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He was taken to be washed and the nurse started to give him eye drops and the vitamin K injection. I wanted to know which eye drops they were using as I wouldn't agree to certain kinds. I was also going to reduce the amount of vitamin K he was given but when I asked what they were doing I was initially ignored. No one asked my permission to do any of this. Then I asked again and was told, but by that time it was too late.
After all the post-birth procedures it was about 2:00am and I was more than ready for some sleep. He was then returned to me but my husband took him and slept in the chair with him in his arm all night. I really couldn't have been happier!
My friend was the perfect complement to my husband.I was so glad I was able to have both my husband and my friend (posing as a doula) in the room with me. My husband was telling me he loved me, saying encouraging things and holding me and rubbing where I needed it. My friend was the perfect complement to my husband. She was very supportive but was focusing more on telling me what to do, how to do it and making sure I listened and obeyed.
...my husband said he was so proud of me and kissed my face.A few times I was given instructions and always responded with 'Okay' but, knowing I hadn't actually listened, she would say my name and repeat instructions. At one point my husband said he was so proud of me and kissed my face. I responded by saying 'Okay' again and pushed his face away. It was all rather amusing - like I was watching a weird comedy!
...I would recommend it to anyone, even the very prudish!
Even though the whole labour process didn't go as I'd envisioned and hoped, I learnt a lot about what to expect, how to handle things and what I will and won't allow next time. I decided to put the disappointments aside and just focus on what was important. My son was very healthy and, after all the waiting, I finally had him in my arms!
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