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| Welcome Arwen! |
I had never particularly looked forward to falling pregnant largely
due to fear of giving birth, so when I found out I was pregnant I
thought, "Well, here we go! I have 8 months to go; let's see what
happens." I found a female gynaecologist and went to her for about 5
scans.
It was after hearing friends of ours speak of their experience with
Arlen, a local private midwife, that I became interested in having a
midwife at the birth in place of the usual gynaecologist. I was open to
this idea mainly because I was never impressed by people's stories of
their hospital births attended by nurses who were strangers to them.
Right towards the end of the labour, the gynaecologist would ride in on
his white horse (or coat) and catch the baby with his million dollar
(well, almost) hands.
...fees charged by gynaes were outrageous to me...
Women would actually be told to wait until the doctor arrived before
pushing the baby out. Even though the birth would be covered by my
medical aid for the most part, the fees charged by gynaes were
outrageous to me and the "sense of rightness" in me did not want any
part in it.
Another hospital practice that did not make sense to me was women
giving birth in the supine position. A university lecturer pointed this
out to a group of us when I was in my fourth year undertaking my
community module at a regional hospital and it had always stuck in my
mind because I'd never given thought to it before.
It was good getting to know Arlen...
I was 31 weeks pregnant when I made an appointment to see the
midwife. One hour appointments at 1/3 of the cost of 20 minute gynae
appointments were very appreciated. And it was good getting to know
Arlen and for her to get to know us, our thoughts on birth and
parenting, our concerns and expectations.
Fortunately the gynae that we'd been seeing was fine with a midwife
attending our baby's birth. She said to me, "Don't be mistaken, it will
be sore ... but then the majority of women around the world give birth
in such a way; you'll be alright."
...childbirth can and should be an overall positive experience.
My friend, Leigh, was a huge support to me in my choice of natural
birth. Of particular help was a book she lent me, entitled "The Joy of
Natural Childbirth" by Helen Wessel. It was written a few decades ago,
but its truths resonated within me. It gave me immense courage and
comfort to learn that I was designed by God to be able to give birth
naturally and that childbirth can and should be an overall positive
experience.
Everything in the book made sense to me and confirmed the decisions
I'd been formulating regarding my birth plan. It also very clearly and
practically explained what to do when going into labour and the
different stages.
...I even tried a few jumps on the trampoline.
When our baby's expected due date arrived I did not feel as if he/she
(the gender was a surprise to Miguel and I) would actually arrive that
day, nor the next. But the thought of being induced started to become
more of an unwanted reality when a week had gone past and still no signs
of labour. Miguel and I went for long walks, bumpy rides and I even
tried a few jumps on the trampoline. But I maintained a sense of calm
and experienced activities of "nesting" during this time: Miguel
particularly appreciated all the baking!
But it felt different "down there."
Ten days after the due date, after taking 15ml of Lactulose I awoke
at 3am needing to go to the toilet. I cannot really remember what I
felt at that time so it is hard to explain. But it felt different "down
there." Within half an hour, I was pretty sure I was in labour.
Miguel got on the phone with Arlen and she advised me to get into a warm
shower. I sat on the gym ball and the water helped because the
contractions were heating up!
I could barely count in between before the next one was upon me
Kneeling beside my bed and gripping the covers during every
contraction, I asked Miguel to call Arlen again. I clearly remember
Miguel saying my contractions were about 5 minutes apart, because I
disagreed - I could barely count in between before the next one was upon
me - or so it seemed. I must have conveyed to Miguel that the
contractions were coming sooner, because next thing Arlen said to meet
her at the hospital.
I was just acting on instinct.
We arrived at the hospital at 5am and a nurse showed us to the
delivery room. Arlen arrived a few minutes later and she and Miguel set
up the water birthing pool while I again knelt at a chair and tried to
breathe through contractions. It was immense comfort to me whenever
Arlen would reassure me that I was doing fine, because I was just acting
on instinct.
Soon the urge the push came.
Due to the intensity of labour, I could hardly even be embarrassed
when I passed a very soft stool while reclining on the bed and needed to
spend some time on the toilet! When I climbed into the birthing pool I
remember feeling instant relief, yet the contractions intensified
because I was dilating very quickly. Soon the urge the push came.
(Afterwards Miguel told me just how surprised he was at the strength of
my hand grip and how sore his fingers were because he had forgotten to
remove his wedding ring!)
I remember thinking, "The end is nigh; if the head can just come out,
the worst will be over." With a few pushes, the head appeared and
Arlen commented on the amount of hair. I turned to sit on my bottom in
the water to push out the rest of the body. "It's a girl!" announced
Arlen. Ah, relief!
We were all speechless; in awe.
Does anyone have the words to explain the feeling of seeing and
holding your child who was inside your womb just moments before? We were
all speechless; in awe. And I was one relieved woman! This is the part
we have captured on camera and I remember it well. I remained in the
water until the placenta came out with another contraction, much milder.
Miguel got to cut the umbilical cord, which was special for him. I had
torn. It turned out to be a second degree tear, so I needed a few
stitches which was not pleasant.
I felt I could conquer the world!
The best times immediately post birth were phoning family with the
announcement of Arwen Deborah's arrival. I felt incredibly proud and
emotionally on a high. I felt I could conquer the world! These feelings
remained for a long time and I had no regrets, no disappointments.
I'm so glad I stuck to my convictions...
I did have a few complaints regarding the non-baby-friendly hospital
procedures. I'm so glad I stuck to my convictions and no invasive
procedures were done on our baby and I insisted on her rooming in with
me.
My message to pregnant mothers is to read and learn as much as you
can about labour and childbirth, allow yourself to question current
practices regarding conventional childbirth in hospitals and know that
you have the power to ultimately decide on how to labour and give birth.
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