The Durban Doula Pregnancy Diary - Week 12

Mom's belly and 6-year-old's toes

I think most moms breathe a sigh of relief when week 13 comes around! 

My nausea is almost totally gone, dizziness too, and I feel like I have more energy than I have for the past 8 weeks. On the first evening I still had some vooma left at 6pm, I chopped and I cooked and I baked - I felt like superwoman! It was great.

Twelve weeks is also that magical date when miscarriages become much less likely - but when you're pregnant I feel every day is a milestone! I don't have any scan pictures for you because I'm not going for a 12 week scan - shock and horror, I know! But I do have some reasons for my decision:

Firstly, I know my cycle really well, so I know exactly how far along I am, so no need for a scan to establish date.

Secondly, even if the usual checks at 12 weeks did pick up something odd on the scan, I wouldn't do anything about it. If there was a problem with the nuchal translucency measurements (used to pick up Downs Syndrome) I would not do an amniocentesis or even consider an abortion, because I know how high the false positive rate is for those tests, and that up to 25% of Downs Syndrome cases aren't detected until birth anyway despite all the testing. I also know the stats of how many healthy babies are miscarried because of the amniocentesis.

Baby apparently measures 5.4cm from crown to rump -
about the size of a plum!
"Plum on tree" by byfir0002 via Wikimedia Commons

For me, getting a possibly positive test would just cause unnecessary stress over something that I can't really do anything about. I've had too many friends who were told they have placenta praevia or that baby had water on the brain or some other dire diagnosis, only to be told 8 weeks later that all was fine... I'm thinking the effects of all those stress hormones on an otherwise healthy baby can't be good!

Having said that, I will go for a scan around 20 weeks, to check that we are all on track for the home birth we are planning, and yes, we will see if we can check gender, purely because we have had two girls so we have mountains of dresses and frills, and I'd like to be able to know what to say if people ask if we need anything. If we can't see gender at that scan I don't think I would have another one just to check.

Furthermore, I am increasingly concerned about the risks of ultrasound scans, especially 'recreational' scans i.e. scans that aren't medically necessary.

Some links about possible risks of ultrasound scans:

Ultrasound Scans - Cause of Concern - Dr Sarah Buckley

Natural childbirth IIb: ultrasound not as safe as commonly thought - Chris Kresser

Concerns were being raised back in 1999 already!
Ultrasound: Weighing the Propaganda Against the Facts - Beverley Lawrence Beech

So as you saw above, we are planning a waterbirth at home. I had an incredible home water birth with my second child, and so I am due to go for my first checkup with the same midwife soon.

Looking a bit tired!

I am getting a little bump and I'm already having to use the hair elastic trick on the buttons on my pants to make extra space for my growing belly...

One odd thing though, is that I won't feel any physical sensations in my womb area for a few days, and then all on one day it will feel like everything is stretching and expanding and aching. It would be fun to know what is happening on those days! Is it a growth spurt? Who knows?

I've had one or two flutters that I would like to believe are baby moving, and as baby is just over 5cm in length (from crown to rump) I know it's not impossible. They say second time moms can sometimes feel baby as early as 13 weeks, so maybe 12 weeks isn't such a stretch the third time around!

That mystery is also part of the joy of pregnancy for me. While I sleep my body feeds this baby and takes care of all its needs, and my baby gets on with the business of reaching and connecting and expanding... all alone in the dark. It's like a little seed planted in the ground - all alone in the dark without any help or intervention, it somehow germinates and starts forming all the bits necessary to be a tree or a flower, and reaches for the light when the time is right.

Big sister giving the belly some love!

The girls are super excited about the new baby - they often ask me how big the baby is now, and love telling strangers at the shops that mommy has a baby growing in her tummy!

I also got my first two little gifts for the sproglet - some newborn clothes and other bits and bobs - and I can't believe my girls were ever newborn sized! Those leggings are so tiny! But on the other hand, I am truly grateful they weren't bigger - for obvious reasons!

So anyway, that's me for now...
Feel free to ask questions or add comments below!
Keep an eye out for our 16 week diary! (Update: I decided to switch to posting every 2 weeks instead - so here is week 14! And in case you missed it, you can find week 8 here.

Taking a break in 2016 - this Durban doula is with child!

To all potential clients, I just have to let you know that I'll be taking a break from doing the doula thing for a while in 2016, because I just don't feel I have the capacity to do what needs to be done with my own newborn to take care of....

My view of my belly - I can still see my toe-shoes -
joined by the soon to be 'middle child',

Yup, this Durban Doula is expecting her third sproglet in April 2016 - or rather late autumn as I tend to tell people (here in the Southern Hemisphere). No one can ask me 'Is the baby here yet?' if they don't know exactly when baby is due! (Sneaky I know, these are the things you learn third time around!)

While I kept a week-by-week diary with my second - which you can find here - I'll be keeping a monthly diary this time around. I'm trusting you'll enjoy sharing the journey with me!

So we are at 8 weeks now - 8 weeks since the first day of my LMP (last menstrual period) - which means it is about 6 weeks since conception, and baby is about the size of a kidney bean. While a first time mom would think things are taking so long, all I can think is that it is happening so fast!

Last week baby was a little blueberry with a tail and 'arm buds', this week he/she is a kidney bean with webbed fingers and almost eyelids!

"Kidney beans" by Sanjay Acharya
Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
via Wikimedia Commons

I weighed about 7kg more at the beginning of this pregnancy than I did at the beginning of either of the other two, and I still have many of the same clothes, so things are feeling tighter much earlier than they did before!

I'm actually less nauseous than I was before, which is a great blessing as I now have a full time job as well as two preschoolers to look after! It's been quite manageable though, as I'm only nauseous if I stop eating for like, 15 minutes; other than that I'm fine.

Consequently I seem to spend my life eating food, preparing food, or thinking about food! Cravings and aversions seems to change by the minute - not sure if it's a physiological thing, or if it's just me getting the most mileage out of what will most likely be my last pregnancy - but hubby has been doing an absolutely sterling job of keeping me fed and watered - especially when I had 'flu and gastro in the first two weeks after discovering I was pregnant! That was grim. I don't get sick, so pregnancy nausea and fatigue combined with the aches and ails of 'flu and gastro was just horrible!

Our Facebook pregnancy announcement...

The days that I felt only nauseous were good days!

Oddly, I've been craving bitter things - like beer (which I never drink anyway!) and grapefruit juice. That and sour things, and apples, and naartjies (tangerines for non-South Africans). Just yesterday I was craving a good Durban curry - so I think that's what I'll be cooking this evening.

Things like mincemeat / ground beef on the other hand - I just can't! I can't even go in the kitchen while it is being cooked, and my poor husband 's affectionate kiss after he ate some himself left me dry heaving. Fortunately he didn't take it personally! The smell of coffee just gives me the shivers. It's so crazy how this little being just takes over your whole body - even the way you sense and feel things, the way you are in your skin - it all changes. What a precious gift to hold this little person for this time!

As with my previous pregnancy, I struggle a bit with dizziness in the mornings, not helpful when you have two preschoolers to get going - but I've found that keeping up with my iron and magnesium has really helped - that and deep breathing and staying well hydrated. A super-involved dad helps too! As I write he is busy making oats porridge for the girls for lunch.

Some of the other stuff... well, let's just say, I've never tanned at a topless beach before, but I think I know what it would feel like the day after the first time... every day. Um. Yah. Pressing on.

Tired with a
teeny belly

We decided to tell our two girls, A & E, aged 6 and 4, about the pregnancy, because I did need a little extra TLC when I was so ill, and because I'm just horrible at keeping secrets like that about my life. They are very excited, but have very little concept of time so the littlest keeps thinking baby is going to pop out next week - I've got them to understand that baby is only coming out after Christmas, but before E's birthday!

I'm also keeping them updated with my little week-by-week pregnancy updates which they quite enjoy. They are both convinced that baby is a boy. I'm not sure if it's some kind of sibling intuition or wishful thinking - but as we are only going for a 20-something week scan we still have a while to wait!

The general response from family and friends has been very positive. We are feeling very loved and supported by our community! But, I must add, where 4 weeks ago it would have been rude to point out anything about the size or shape of my belly, now I am greeted with delighted cries of, 'Oh, you've got a little bump already!'

I'm tempted to make 'Harrumph' noises, but I guess it comes with the territory. 

I've been doing some pregnancy stretching exercise on the floor of my bedroom which have been great in helping me feel a little more energised (yay endorphins!) and I'm making a plan to get back into my weekly walks once myself and my walking partner are up to it.

So anyway, we are planning another water birth at home, as I did with my second child - incredible birth story here - so while I am looking forward to it, I am also happy to wait until the time comes and just savour every moment of these precious few weeks of growing and incubating this tiny human inside my own body.

(Find our week 12 diary here.)